Planet Jackers (Transcript)
It is night. A large telescope sticking out of the ground takes up all of Zim's backyard. The lens turns as it adjusts. The telescope is attached to tubing that goes deep under the ground into a spherical structure in Zim's lab. In the center of the spherical structure, Zim sits on a hovering platform looking through the other end of the telescope. * Zim: Enhance. Through the telescope, Zim looks at a planet. As it enhances, it shows the planet's surface, where rock creatures roam around. * Zim: 'Computer, locate Invader Flobee. ''Invader Flobee's face blinks in the corner of the telescope view screen. The telescope zooms over to where Invader Flobee is and then zooms in. Flobee sits on a stone throne and has rocks strapped to his body and two of the rock creatures fans him with large leaves. His SIR unit lounges with him on the throne. * '''Zim: Flobee seems to be doing alright. Computer, show me Invader Stink. Stink never was much of an invader, I'd be surprised if he's even got a good disguise yet. The telescope view screen shows Stink's face in the corner. The telescope zooms over to a planet and then enhances until we see Invader Stink, without any type of disguise, lounging on a hill. * Zim: Hehe, resting on the job, eh, Stink? Pathetic! The telescope view zooms out showing that the dome has an Irken flag on it and that the city below is flaming. * Zim: 'Huh!?! ''Zim wails. * '''Zim: All the invaders are farther along in their conquest than I am! Computer, show me Invader Skutch! The telescope shows a planet. The telescope view screen shows Skutch's face in the corner. * Zim (desperately): Skutch was a total failure in the academy. The telescope enhances to show Skutch laughing maniacally as his surroundings burn. * Zim: Hey, what is this!?! The telescope suddenly goes static. * Zim: Computer, I wanna see Invader Skutch! * Computer: Exact Skutch coordinates set. * Zim: I see no Skutch! Go back to Stink. The telescope view screen shows Stink's icon in the corner, but the telescope shows nothing but static. Zim grabs a communicator attached to a tube. * Zim: GIR! Come to the observatory! Zim lets go of the communicator. GIR, who is out of disguise, pops his head out of a hole on the observatory wall. * GIR: Yes? * Zim: What have you done to the telescope? * GIR (innocently): Nothin'. * Zim: You haven't touched it? Something is broken and it's not your fault? * GIR (fearfully): I know, I'm scared too. GIR jumps out of the hole and slides down the wall of the conservatory. When he reaches the floor, he uses his jets to fly up and then land on the platform Zim is on. * Zim: Computer, display scope image on screen. The entire conservatory dome wall becomes a view screen, showing static. * GIR: I love this show. * Zim: What is that? The hovering platform Zim and GIR are on approaches the wall. * Zim: I know this from somewhere... The observatory starts shaking and chunks of debris start falling from the ceiling. Zim screams as the telescope breaks loose and crashes to the ground. The walls go back from static to normal walls. The hover platform dodges falling debris and chunks of the telescope. A small chunk hits Zim in the face. Once the shaking stops, the entire observatory is filled with the broken chunks of the telescope. The hovering platform floats above it. * GIR: Wooo! Do that again! * Zim: If what I saw was what I thought I saw, then there isn't time to fix the scope! I'll have to find another more powerful telescope to confirm my... SUSPICIONS... GIR grabs Zim's face. * GIR: Let's make biscuits! (shakes Zim's head) Let's make biscuits! Cut to a hilltop above the city where Zim and GIR (in their disguises) stand. Nearby them, a couple of stargazers: DA' CONE and Revolti. The sky seems to be pulsing with waves of electricity. * GIR: What about that one? An insectoid helmet emerges from Zim's Irken utility pack and covers his face from the mouth up. Wires emerge from the Irken utility pack and plug themselves into the back of the helmet. Binocular lenses extend from the eyes of the helmet. From Zim's view, we see a large telescope in Dib's backyard. Dib's face flashes in the corner of the helmet view screen. * Zim: It certainly looks powerful enough... but it belongs to the Dib human. * GIR: So? He seems nice! (hugs himself to prove his point) * Zim: We want to destroy these people, not ask them for help. The very thought makes me make little... sicky noises. The ground shakes and GIR rolls down the hill. They both groan. Zim looks to the sky. Cut to Dib's house. Zim and GIR stand out front, Zim no longer wearing the helmet. Zim looks nervous. He looks to GIR, who smiles and makes a squeaky fart noise. Zim walks towards Dib's front door. Zim reaches the door, then looks back at GIR. GIR gives a thumbs up while making a little squeaky noise. He lifts both of his hands giving two thumbs up, then wiggles his hands around. When Zim turns around, he pretends to crush his head with his hand while making squishy noises. Zim stares at the doorbell and moans as he finally presses it. Dib opens the door slowly. Zim smacks the door open the rest of the way and Dib groans as he falls backward into the couch. * Zim: I need the use of your telescope. As Zim approaches, Dib scuttles away, and then grabs the Prof. Membrane lamp behind the couch and holds it threateningly at Zim. * Dib: Gaz, there's an alien in the house! * Gaz's voice: You mean besides you? * Zim: We don't have time for this, Dib! Your world might be in very great danger! * Dib: Well, yeah, you're trying to destroy the human race, remember? Zim chuckles dismissively. * Zim: Oh, yes, but this is different, there's something else entirely. I need to use your telescope! * Dib: You think I'm stupid? I mean, what kind of weak alien needs the help of the people he intends to conquer? * Zim: Have you seen the sky? * Dib: I'm not going out there, Zim! I'm not falling for whatever it is you're up to! Dib pokes Zim in the face with his Prof. Membrane lamp. Zim squeals. Dib does it again and Zim runs out the door, screaming like an ape. Dib slams the door behind him. * Dib: Earth is safe once more, but for how long? * Gaz's voice: Be quiet! Zim walks over to where GIR is. GIR has his face in the mud as he wags his tail. * Zim: Stupid human! GIR stands upright, revealing that there is mud on his lips. * Zim: We only have one option, GIR! We're takin' the Voot Cruiser out to investigate. Cut to Zim's house. The roof opens and the Voot Runner lifts out. Zim and GIR are inside, out of disguise. * Zim: It's a good thing I fixed the G-Force Compensators on the cruiser before this little trip we're about to take. It was acting kinda funny. * GIR: 'Hee-Hee, G-Force. ''Zim groans as the Voot Runner rumbles. He screams as it blasts away at incredible speeds. Before they know it, they are high above the city. Zim's lips are pulled back and GIR scream with him. Suddenly, the Voot Runner crashes into something and Zim flies out of his seat, hitting the windshield. His eyeball comes out of his socket. He groans as he puts it back into its socket. * '''Zim: What did we hit? Noooooo!!!! Zim looks out and sees that the Earth has a dome covering around it. The dome covering is a giant viewscreen showing space so people won't notice that there is a covering around it. * Zim: The Earth has been stolen, GIR! * GIR: Stolen? One of GIR's eyes extends and then retracts. * Zim: '...By the Planet Jackers! Computer, bring up the Planet Jackers holo simulation. ''A hologram is projected from the dashboard. It shows a planet with a moon orbiting it. * '''Zim: They sneak up on unsuspecting planets and enclose them in a hollow metal bubble. The holo simulation shows a metal bubble closing over the planet, then a smaller one closing over the moon. The moon bubble connect to the planet bubble by a line. * Zim: The inside of the sphere is one big television screen, which projects a sky so know one knows what's happened. * GIR: I like TV! The holo-simulation shows the inside of the sphere, with the projection of a sky. * Zim: Those earthquakes we've been feeling are the pull from when they change direction. * GIR: Tell me a story about giant pigs! GIR holds up a pig toy. An oink is heard. The holo-simulation shows a large sun. * Zim: The Planet Jacker's homeworld orbits a dying sun. The holo-simulation shows the encased planet and moon being lead over the sun. The sphere opens and the planet and moon drop into the sun. * Zim: They throw planets into it like firewood to keep it burning. And now, they have the Earth. * GIR: Yay! * Zim: No GIR, that's bad. * GIR: Aw. * Zim: Do you know what this means? * GIR: Yes. * Zim: You don't really, do you? * GIR: Hm. (timidly clutches rubber piggy) Zim jumps onto the dashboard where a holo-projection of the Earth is. * Zim: It means WE won't get to destroy it! Our mission will be a total failure! Zim pounds the dashboard. Then he hops down * Zim: Imagine the Irken army showing up and the entire planet is missing! The holo projection turns off. * GIR: Ooooh! Zim flies the Voot Runner down from its impact point and flies along the inside of the sphere casing. * Zim: There's got to be a way out of the shell. There! They fly into an opening that is labeled 'for Planet Jacker use only.' The Voot Runner flies out of the shell and then flies towards the cockpit of the ship. Zim presses a button on the Voot Runner control panel and a holo-projection view screen appears showing the entire planet jacker ship diagram. The planet is being pulled along by only a tiny ship. * Zim: That's it! That's them! Inside the cockpit, Nik and Oog-Ah sit. A little female planet jacker wobbly toy (like the Hawaiian dancer wobbly toys people put in their cars) sits on the dashboard. The radio is playing. * Nik: Look at that, binary system. That's a pair of stars orbiting around each other. You ever been to a binary system? * Oog-Ah: No. * Nik: Would it... kill you to say something? * Oog-Ah: Quiet, or I'll eat your head. Is that enough words for you? * Nik: I was just trying to make conversation. Zim flies the Voot Runner in front of the Planet Jacker's ship and turns around to face them. * Zim: S'cuse me. * Nik: Hey, look at the little green guy! * Zim: What do you think you're doing? * Nik: Well, you see that planet back there? * Zim: Yes. * Nik: We're going to throw it into our sun. Why you gotta problem with that? * Oog-Ah: That one's gonna burn real good, lots of critters! Critters burn good! * Zim: Yes, I have a problem! Maybe you have forgotten about the Irken/Planet Jacker treaty, stating that all planets marked for conquest by the Irken military are to be left where they are! Nik looks at a map. * Nik: No, no, this planet wasn't marked. This one's free game. * Zim: Then it's a mistake! I know for certain (GIR waves his arm and squeals happily) the armada expects me to ensure this planet's doom! Can't you just go get some other planet? * Nik: I got a better idea. We'll take this planet, and you go doom a different one. * Zim: I was here first! * Oog-Ah: I'm getting tired of you, green thing. Oog-Ah presses a button on the control panel and a thrust cannon emerges from the ship right above the Voot Runner. Zim looks up, and the thrust cannon shoots out a blast, sending the Voot Runner off spinning as Zim screams. The Planet Jackers laugh. * Nik: Look, Oog! Nik points to the sun of the Planet Jacker homeworld, which is in the distance. * Nik: Pick up the pace, we're almost home! The Voot Runner stops spinning. * Zim: There isn't much time! GIR! GIR pops his head up, saluting, with red eyes, shoulder joints, chest plate, and antennae tip. * Zim: Fly the cruiser. I have a plan. An amazing plan... The Voot Runner flies up to the coupling between the planet jacker ship and the planet. A bubble covers Zim's head and then goes invisible. Jets emerge from his backpack. The Voot Runner opens up and Zim flies out. His robotic spider legs emerge as he lands on the coupling. Inside the Planet Jacker's ship, Nik taps the steering wheel. Suddenly, pounding is heard. * Oog-Ah: I'll take care of it. Oog-Ah gets up and grabs a helmet that fits tightly on his face. He walks over to a dead end. Light pours down on him from above and then a rising platform lifts him up. On the outside of the side, Zim pounds the ship while groaning. Oog-Ah uses a jetpack to fly over to Zim. * Oog-Ah: Please, stop that. It's really annoying! * Zim: Fools! Zim's robotic spider legs extend again. * Zim: I am Zim, Irken Invader Zim. I am responsible for the safe obliteration of the human race, not you! Zim points at Oog-Ah. * Oog-Ah: That's it. Oog-Ah swipes Zim's hand out of the way and then leaps at him. Zim jumps over him and Oog-Ah misses, tumbling. Oog-Ah turns around and pushes Zim in the face. As Oog-Ah's hand comes into contact with Zim's face, the invisible bubble becomes visible for a second. As Zim is pushed, one of his spider legs scratches along the surface of the ship. He skids to a stop and then turns around. * Zim: Release the planet, thief! * Oog-Ah: There's only one way to undue the coupling, but you'll have to get through me first! Oog-Ah pulls out a set of keys and twirls them on his finger. Zim looks down and sees a small key-hole on the coupling. Zim leaps up with added force from his spider legs. Oog-Ah moves out of the way and Zim flies past him. Oog-Ah laughs. Zim leaps again, but as he flies past Oog-Ah, Oog-Ah grabs him by his spider legs. Oog-Ah moves around in circle, spinning Zim with him. Zim groans as he spins. Zim's robotic spider legs snap and Zim is sent flying into space. Oog-Ah tosses the spider legs away. Zim spins through space. Zim's communicator unfolds from his Irken utility pack. * Zim: GIR! GIR! Catch me! Bring the cruiser around and catch me! Inside the Voot Runner, GIR lifts his head up. GIR's eyes, chest plate, shoulder joints, and antennae tip all turn red as he salutes. * GIR: Yes, sir! The Voot Runner flies in circles and then zooms off. It flies straight into Zim. Zim is stuck on the windshield. GIR looks at him from the inside, his colors now back to normal. GIR waves a hand. * GIR: Hi! * Zim: Let me in, GIR! GIR looks around and then presses a button on the control panel. The windshield opens and Zim grunts as he falls inside. The windshield closes back up. The invisible bubble on Zim's head becomes visible as it opens up. Zim growls. * Zim: They're getting away! We're losing the planet, GIR! The Tallest will kill me for sure! GIR watches a comet go by. * Zim: Now, time for another amazing plan from me, Zim! Zim's name is echoed. The Voot Runner flies over to the covered Earth and hovers above it. The pods on either side of the Voot Runner detach and hover down to the covered Earth. Welding beams shoot out of each pod. The pods move in different directions, cutting through the shell as they go. * Zim: The pods should cut through the shell. Zim wears a purple spacesuit. Zim places his feet onto a panel in the voot runner and the are covered in space boots that match the space suit. * Zim: I'll just have to keep them occupied so they don't notice what's happening. GIR watches as a comet flies by in the background. * Zim: You let me know when it's done. The bubble covers Zim's head again and becomes invisible. GIR hangs onto the side of the Voot Runner as Zim blasts out of the open Voot Runner with his jet packs. He uses his jets to fly along the surface of the covered Earth towards the coupling. As he flies along the surface, he passes a pod as it cuts through the shell. When Zim reaches the coupling, he lands on it with magnetic boots that let him stick to the surface. Inside the cockpit, Nik looks at the side-view mirror and sees Zim. * Nik: Oog, look who's back. Oog-Ah growls and gets up out of his seat Cut to the coupling. Oog-Ah uses his jets to fly over to where Zim is. * Oog-Ah: Let's get this over with, little man! Oog-Ah punches a fist into his palm. * Zim: Sure. Why not? Zim takes a fighting stance. Oog-Ah roars. Oog-Ah's jets turn on and he flies towards Zim, fists out. Zim's jets turn on and he flies towards Oog-Ah, fists out and screaming. As they fly towards each other, both screaming, the pods cut through the shell. On the inside of the sphere on the surface of Earth, the welding lasers of the pods cutting through can be seen in the sky, but it looks like a shooting star. The stargazers (DA' CONE and Revolti) are still on the hill. * DA' CONE: Preeeetty! Back at the coupling, Zim looks really beaten up. * Zim: You had enough yet? Oog-Ah punches Zim in the face, and then again. The pods finally meet. When they collide, the welding beams shut off and they float into the air. Since the shell has been completely cut through, it starts it lift off. The pods join back with the Voot Runner. * GIR: It's done! Oog-Ah steps on Zim's swollen head. He stops, and Zim weakly gets up. His bubble helmet flickers from non-invisibility to invisibility and back. * Zim: Okay... I think I'm through with you! Oog-Ah growls. Zim's boots disconnect and Zim sputters away with his remaining jetpack. As Zim flies into space, the Voot Runner flies by and picks him up. At Dib's house, Dib peeks his head out of his door to see the shell lifting off. He sees that they are now near the Planet Jacker's sun too. The moon, which is still encased in its own shell, crashes into the Atlantic Ocean. As it crashes, the shell breaks off and the moon drifts off. The moon collides into the two halves of the shell it was encased in and then drifts away into space. * Zim: The Earth is safe! I did it, GIR! Now let's go destroy it! * GIR: Yay! The Voot Runner dodges through debris from the moon as it zooms down into Earth. Cut to the Planet Jackers' cockpit. * Nik: Another job well done, yeah? * Oog-Ah: Yeah... They both laugh. They zoom towards the sun carrying along half of the shell that was covering Earth. Category:Episode Transcripts Category:Season 1 Transcripts